Hey
The only reason im making a new blog is because I messed up this account really bad in a way I cant explain. =( so please go to my new blog. It explains everything in the post. =) Sorry I can;t explain more I'm so tired...
_HaNdPrInT_
Although things haven't really been going that well, I'm trying to make the best of things. My mind has been bothering me ALLOT. It keeps telling me things that tear me up. Last night it was practically chanting that Alex hates me. But I know that he doesn't hate me know, because he hugged me LOTS at church :D SUPER DUPER HAPPY FACE!!!!!!!!!!! Also URI IF YOUR READING THIS YOUR AWESOME!! Also Emma, Jill, James, and anyone else who I forgot. I love you guys so much. Ok...so not much has been going on. I got a new cage for the guinea pigs...and they love it! There's a little ramp and Kyoko loves climbing it Tee-Hee!!! Right now I'm listening to Fearless by Taylor Swift. As you can tell it's making me happy. :D This is the first time in awhile that I've felt good. And I've wanted to cut so bad, but then I imagine Alex's face and also God's, and it makes me want to stop and just think about whether or not it would be worth it. And I honestly don't really know why I'm so cheerful. Maybe it's because I've been sleeping in and I'm not tired or something...maybe it's because my sister smells fruity for some reason and is dancing while I'm writing this. LOL my brother is sorda in time out right now. He has to clean his room. OH and I have to tell you guys something. Ok I was at Sunday school and Alex came in and we were all talking about Adam and Eve. It was cool. All these weird questions came up and MY weird question was what if God is a girl? I mean what if He is? That would be cool. Hey look up the song God Is A Girl. That song made me wonder if he was. Ugh this post is so boring. It's just me rambling. There's nothing good that goes on in my life it's so boring. Sunday is the most exiting day of my life, seriously. And that's kinda lame. Hey and do any of you own guinea pigs that fling their poop? Just wondering because I want to know if thats normal. I also got my stitches out. It itches so bad though. I showed Alex my leg at Sunday School and you could tell that he was concerned, it really made me happy. It was funny, There was a crowd of kids around me, asking me if my leg was ok. It made me feel IMPORTANT and LOVED and I haven't felt that in forever. I've been trying to respect my family better and I still don't feel loved or respected back. And that sucks...you know...I'm trying so hard and I'm not getting anything back. HAHAHAHAHAHAH HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol have any of you heard of Lash Blast? ITS ONLY THE BEST MASCARA IN THE WOOORLD HA!!!!!!!! And I'm sorda saving up for Lash Blast ultra. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! Kyoko is sitting on my lap this very moment and she keeps sniffing me. Oh no now I smell fruity too...geez I'm such a geek and weirdo and I'm so fat and ugly but God loves me and that makes everything ok. And YAYAYAYAYAYAYA I CANT WAIT TO SEE ALEX AGAIN!!!! his dad is a preacher. I love his dad. :) Well I gotta go. ABCDEFG THE GUMMY BEARS ARE AFTER ME ONE IS RED ONE IS BLUE THE OTHER ONE JUST STOLE MY SHOE WHEN I CATCH HIM I WILL SUE THEN I WILL GET BACK TO YOU!!!
It was so awesome!! My stitches I mean...Ok so I was at youth group and it was raining and being the crazy, dumb, and weirdo girl I am I decided I wanted to dance in the rain. But as I was running outside I slipped on the tile and this metal thing on the side of the wall went into my leg. I didn't know I was bleeding or that I was even really hurt until someone pointed out that my leg was gushing out blood. It was sooo much blood...I stained the carpet up pretty bad too. So they were trying to make the blood stop, and they did and I didn't cry one bit!! Well until they told me that I needed stitches. I really like the smell of hospitals, and the people there are usually so nice. But I don't like it when they poke things into me or touch me or anything like that. That's why I hate shots. I know that sounds stupid coming from a person who has cut herself before on purpose, but I guess as long as I'm the one cutting or poking myself with a sharp object, I don't really care. Lol while I was sitting on the chair and they were putting pressure on my leg, I kept on asking for Alex because I really wanted to see him. But I can't believe I started bawling just because I didn't want to get stitches...but I didn't like the idea of thread going INSIDE of my leg. Ugh they kept on saying that Alex was busy...that sucked. Lol this is what I sounded like: "P-Please I-I reeeeally need to see A-Alex...I n-need to see him!" =_= CALLIE'S A BIG WHINY BABY HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok lol anywayz...My mom came and you know my friend Aly, right? Well she came with me to the hospital and when I got in the waiting room I saw this one chunky emo girl who was crying and I felt so sorry for her. That's also why I don't like going to hospitals because I feel sorry for those people there for weeks. I also saw this other girl crying and clutching her stomach and she looked anorexic. I'll be praying for her. LOL YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN ME AND ALY THOUGH!!! We were laughing about EVERYTHING. When they took my blood pressure, the machine was making this little beeping noise and me and Aly were cracking up! And as you know, hospital equipment makes lots of beeping noises, so we were laughing allot. The nurse kept looking at me funnily but she thought it was cute. And then when we got to the room I had to put on this gown and I have a big butt so I was ashamed LOL and also I felt naked :P And I kept on asking if the stitches were going to hurt and the nurse kept on saying no. Then they put numbing jell on my leg and let it sit there. Then the doctor came in and that doctor was so CUTE!!!!!!! He was handsome and adorable. Lol it reminded me of house. Then he stitched me up and I didn't watch but I wish I did. But my stitches are so cool and freaky at the same time. Whooooooooooo ok just thought I'd share that story with ya. Also I'm bored and my leg kinda hurts. But anyways...Thanks for reading this if you did :). Love you guys! Hey and also I might not post in a while after this post cuse nothing exciting will probably happen for awhile...geez my life is so boring...byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Life totally sucks right now. And I've tried so hard not to cut and its a miracle I haven't. Seriously, I am so so thankful to God, because I made a promise I wouldn't cut again. But when I say I feel like a voo-doo doll I mean that I feel like I'm being jerked around, and everyone is making my decisions for me. And it's so frustrating. And you know about Jason? Well he is totally avoiding me. Maybe it's because I've been hanging around him too much. And Jeff is grounded. Jesse hasn't been a problem. And gosh I can't wait to see Alex again at church because I feel so put together when I'm around him. He makes me feel happy about life. Hey and maybe all this anxiety and depression is because I had to change my medicine around, but on the up side I haven't been eating as much. Eating allot was one of the side affects on my other medicine and also bed-wetting. And also for the first time in awhile I actually feel like writing on my blog, and the words are actually coming out and I remember everything. Maybe it's cuse I need to vent. Oh ya and Jason said he doesn't like emo or goth girls lol and he thinks I'm emo. But I'm not I'm just in love with the color black. My friend Elizabeth says that black reminds her of the devil and hatred, but it's exactly the opposite with me. I feel so happy and safe with the color black, and also blue. I don't like orange, yellow, or anything really bright like that AND I HATE PINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Red is ok, it reminds me of blood and that's cool lol. Whoo I don't know what else to write about. I just can't wait to see Alex!!!!!!!!!!! I actually count the days down which is pretty pathetic, but he just makes me so happy. And he skateboards. I wanna skateboard so baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. It looks so fun and allot of people I know can do it. Hey hey hey hey hey HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna tell you fav bands!!! WOOT. Ok...Bullet For My Valentine, Three Days Grace, Skillet, Breaking Benjamin, Coheed and Cambria, BarlowGirl, Fall Out Boy, and I really like Krystal Meyers....my fav TV shows are Law and Order, CSI, House, and Flapjack. BLEH this is all so boring, I'm boring you guys out ARENT I!!!!???? Maybe if I went to public school and If my mom didn't read my posts there would be more interesting stuff!!!! Ew not gross stuff :P. Anyways...I don't know what else to write about. I wanted this to be a really long post but I don't know if it's gunna be...OH I KNOW IM GONNA SHOW YOU MORE CUTE ICONS OK::::::::::::::::
Yay I made some new friends!! Haha...their names are Jason and Jeff. They live really close to me and their really nice. I like them allot, their funny and my friend Elizabeth says that she thinks they like me :) Today I went over to Jason's house and watched him and his dad fix up this cool little motercycle...they have LOTS of bikes. Jason really likes Jesse the guinea pig. And Jesse likes him too LOL. Then Jeff came over (gosh I really want him to teach me to skatebourd) and we went to this little boy's house named Jesse and he LOVES Kyoko, his family liked the guinea pigs. I feel so much more happy now that I have some friends, and I don't feel guilty about not going to high school. But I still have been having anxiety at night and it bothers me allot. But since I've been watching House and also Law and Order at night it's been distracting me so I won't feel bad. And that helps allot. Geez I don't know what else to write about. There's allot that's been going on but whenever I get to the computer I loose all that I was about to say and it's so annoying. And have any of you seen the commercial for The Haunting in Conneticut? I know I shouldn't watch scary movies because it kicks up my anxiety but that movie looks really good. And really scary LOL. I also really want to see The Other Boleyn Girl but it has lots of unnessisary sexual stuff in it and they twist the whole story about the Boleyn's around. I know ALL about the Boleyn's and King Henry VIII...ya and you can go ahead and call me a geek for being obsessed with the kings and queens back then but I don't really care. :) Anyways...well I'm grounded because I jumped on my friends trampoline and my parents say that that if I ever jump on a trampoline only two people can be on it. And that's a stupid rule. If I get hurt it should be my own
problem. 



